The book was originally published as Women Sailors and Sailors’ Women, which I think is a more honest title for what it actually contains. Most of the book was less about what women did and more about how men felt about women, whether they were authors or sailors, wives or prostitutes, and too much of life is already all about how what men feel about women is more important than the women themselves. I wanted a book about seafaring women to be a book about seafaring women, and not just another part of a neverending battle for visibility and respect that I already fight.

I had a bad feeling when the first chapter of the book was about prostitution, but I still didn’t write it off at that point because an examination of the role of these women is a valuable one. But already it deviates from the idea of “seafaring women” and firmly entrenches itself in “women in a supporting role to what men did.” Subsequent chapters continued on this theme, from writing about women sailors from the perspective of the men they sailed with, to how the men in charge felt about women even being on boats, to how crews felt about the wives of their peers and commanders.

Two chapters stand out as the most egregious examples of this book being far more about men and their needs and values than about women: “Men Without Women” and “Women and Water, Sirens and Mermaids.” One is upfront in its shortcomings: “Men Without Momen” is quite blatantly an examination of men, not women. The other is more insidious, because on the surface sirens and mermaids are most certainly female figures, but they are also not real, so it becomes one more lengthy examination of what men feel and what men see.

Male homosexuality at sea–a subject certainly worth of study in its own right–was touched upon briefly, with what I felt were extremely dubious and badly-researched conclusions. As something that wasn’t the focus of the work, and in fact a subject that by definition excluded women, I thought it was entirely unnecessary in this context to begin with. It didn’t add anything to the book, and felt so slapped-together that it called into question the research done for the rest of the book.

In an comparison between handling the boats of two centuries ago to the boats of today, the author does more to devalue the accomplishments of modern women than to impress anyone with what a few eighteenth century women did. The whole book has a pervasive tone of “Isn’t it astonishing that a handful of women managed to do what the average seafaring man did?” and often approached it as a problem of ability rather than a systemic societal issue.

The most satisfying chapter was on lighthouse keepers, which was the most straightforward examination of women in a marine career and what they actually did and how they lived. It might have been the only time the deeds and struggles and accomplishments of women were (sometimes, but still not always) examined in their own right and given the respect they deserve.

Overall this was less about “seafaring women” than “women sailors liked to fuck.” When there is an entire chapter devoted to completely fictional female beings and just a few pages to Bonny and Read, the notorious female pirates, it was never going to be the kind of female-focused work that I was looking for.

I’m sure this was the book the author intended to write, but it’s certainly not the book I wanted to read.

The top five sang the songs of Frank Sinatra. Harry Connick Jr. was pretty much the most entertaining part of the show. Some genius decided the contestants were too incompetent to do their own arrangements, but this wasn’t all that much better. Aaron Kelly was finally axed, so that makes this one a winner.

Then the top four did songs of the cinema. What you need to know about this episode is that Crystal and Lee shat all over Falling Slowly, and once again no one mentioned Kris Allen. Nothing else that happened this episode mattered. Not even Casey James singing “Mrs. Robinson”, the most inspired song choice in the history of the show. We drop Mike Lynche. Finally. That was a whole lotta dead weight right there.

The top three do the familiar contestant’s choice / judges’ choice. Casey makes some bad choices. Actually, everyone makes some bad choices. Crystal is predictable. Lee is repetitive. And it didn’t even matter what Casey did because everyone knew this was his week to go home. As it was written, so shall it be done.

So we’re left with Crystal and Lee. Sort of a rock and a hard place there, but given that actual choice in real life I do prefer a hard place so I was rooting for Crystal. She lost. A whole lot of people performed, Ryan talked over the start of Kris’s performance, and the least anticipated idol final in history came to pass. Lee won. His single promptly tanked.

So there we have it. Of all of them, I actually think Casey James was the most talented and has the best chance of post-Idol success. He just had no idea what to do with himself on the show. There’s a niche that Crystal will fill so she’ll be fine. I have no idea how Lee’s going to do in the end. And everyone else? I’m kind of struggling to remember most of their names at this point.

Except Siobhan. Siobhan, I really want to see what you do now.

The summer tour kicks off tonight (actually, by the time I actually post this it will have kicked off already) and that may be more telling than the show ever was.

Sayonara, until next time. Because you know when Season 10 rolls around I’ll be back for more.

Shania Twain mentors the Idols singing her songs, and…does she even have enough songs for this, really? Possibly not the most brilliant choice, but I guess there are only six of them.

Mike Lynche: “It Only Hurts When I’m Breathing”
He starts out sitting on the stairs and his voice wavers a little and it’s just a weak opening if you ask me. (I know better than to watch him while listening but, well, performance matters.) Generally I like his voice, but I’m not enjoying this performance all that much.

Aaron Kelly: “You’ve Got a Way”
Okay, here’s the truth. I’m just never going to like (high school student) Aaron Kelly. There’s just nothing about him that I enjoy. I feel a little bit bad about that, but there it is. That said, this might be my favourite performance of his (until the end, anyway; not everything needs a glory note). I don’t like it more than I like other people, but as far as Aaron Kelly songs go, it was good. (Okay, awkward moment when he says he was singing it to his mom, though.)

Siobhan Magnus: “Any Man of Mine”
Okay, she’s doing a straight up country version of this, which I don’t think is a smart choice. Her voice is kind of shaky, which I’m not used to with Siobhan, and she’s not singing it in the best key for her, I think. And the Siobhan Wail was just not necessary here. I didn’t hate it, but I’ve heard her do so much better, (She looks so cute, though.) It should be said that the judges dug it hardcore.

Crystal Bowersox: “No One Needs to Know”
Apparently this song is a big ol’ hint to her boyfriend. Well then. She sounds fine but this is a little anemic as far as performance goes. There’s about zero energy to the whole thing, and she’s just sort of sleepwalking through it. And I kind of think she knew it, too. The judges were very lukewarm, but in the vein of “it wasn’t the best for you, but you’re always awesome.”

Lee DeWyze: “Still The One”
Is it just me or is he starting to look more comfortable on stage? His voice has really grown on me, but I found this performance a little shouty and strained. It was serviceable, but since I know he can do better I was a little disappointed by it. The judges salivate over it, though, which isn’t as huge a surprise as when they wet themselves over Aaron Kelly every week.

Casey James: “Don’t”
Oh wow, this really does showcase his voice more than anything else he’s done. It’s kind of got a little country twang to it tonight, but just like a little lean in that direction, not a full step away from who he is. I liked it quite a bit. Not as much as Jealous Guy, but ahead of everything else he (and pretty much everyone else) has done.

So no one was a train wreck, actually. Which is kind of nice, but also boring, because no one was spectacular either.

Because I didn’t watch the show until today, I voted in my weekly pool completely blind. I picked Mike, Aaron and Siobhan for the bottom three with Mike finally (finally!) leaving and…had I watched the show on time I actually would’ve done the exact same thing. I would’ve been just as wrong, but I would’ve done it

The bottom three turn out to Mike, Siobhan and Casey with Siobhan going home. And…Casey, what? Siobhan leaving? Seriously, what do we have to do to get rid of Big Mike? Sorry guy, but your time is up. Actually, it was up the first time you were eliminated. Judges’ Save for the lose.

Now I’m just motivated to get it up before the next one.

On the bright side, Idol only ran an hour! On the downside, the next night Idol Gives Back ran about two and a half hours. Good cause, good cause, I know, but sheesh.

On to the performances, with mentor Alicia Keys (who doesn’t give Adam Lambert-level advice, but is completely watchable, at least).

Aaron Kelly: R. Kelly’s “I Believe I Can Fly”

Even just watching his mentoring session, I already think he sounds bad. And not because I always think he sounds bad (sometimes I actually think he sounds competent) but because he’s so completely off. His performance is overwrought and off-key and he’s neither tackling the song hard enough nor connecting with it. It is actively bad for me…and yet the judges like it. I am very WTF about that.

Tim Urban: Goo Goo Dolls’ “Better Days”

Sadly, Tim really should have chosen something with more of a melody, because he can’t mask any of his vocal flaws right now. He really pulled something out of his ass the past two weeks to start climbing the ranks, but this is not good. I cannot imagine he’s not going to hit the bottom three with this. But at least there was no falsetto?

Casey James: Fleetwood Mac’s “Don’t Stop”

This is just so generic, which is sad because we’ve seen what Casey can really do. That’s not to say that it’s bad, because he doesn’t screw it up and the song is right in his wheelhouse, but it’s not in any way innovative. His guitar playing really does add something to his performances, though; it’s really not just a prop for him like it is for some people who have some basic skills but can’t take it any further than that. At least it’s got some energy to it, but it’s pretty forgettable overall.

I just desperately want to see him do something he connects to emotionally again, because I really do like Casey and want him to succeed. I just want to see more Casey and less generic dude.

Michael Lynche: Chad Kroeger’s “Hero”

I haven’t heard this yet but I just kind of hate this song choice. This song is a guilty pleasure for me, but I hate myself a little every time I listen to it unironically. Mike sounds really good on it, generally, though I like the opening better than I like it as it goes on. I sort of gets more and more generic and more like the original as it goes. I guess I’m meh-to-okay on it overall.

Siobhan Magnus: Mariah Carey and Whitney Houston’s “When You Believe”

This is pretty, but too tentative. I really miss when Siobhan used to show up with a special kind of energy on stage. I just miss when she felt special. She does have a great, strong voice but lately I just haven’t been enjoying what she’s doing with it. Also, she’s wearing a dress with butterflies on it (no, not a butterfly print, butterflies), and it’s a magnificent disaster. I love it. Anyway, the performance is technically good, but just plain dull.

Lee DeWyze: Simon & Garfunkel’s “The Boxer”

Lee always looks vaguely like he’s going to throw up before he performs, poor guy. Nerves are hell, I know, but when he’s good, he’s good, and he just needs to get into the moment more when he’s performing.

I know within five seconds of him starting this song that I want to buy it, though. It’s not flawless, but I like it, I like how he puts it together and I like his spin on it. On some level it just connected with me, in a way that nothing else tonight really did. Usually I’m ultra-critical of songs I love the original of, but this is just a great take, to me. (And the studio version is pretty sweet, too, for the record.)

Crystal Bowersox: The Impressions’ “People Get Ready”

The a capella opening is pretty hardcore, and she nails it. I actually kind of wish she’d done the whole thing a capella. That probably would’ve been amazing, because the backup doesn’t really add anything special to her performance. She botches a couple of notes, but that’s quickly forgotten when she breaks down at the end of the song. I have mixed feelings about that, but I feel like it was genuine so I’m not going to call manipulation on it. And I love her personal mike stand that she brought in to use; it makes a huge statement without being a part of her performance. Best of the night (if not my favourite) but maybe not the showstopper that I heard it was before I saw it.

I’m about to tell you who actually made the bottom three, but because I’m still playing in my Idol pool, I actually have documentation of what I called. Without having seen the second half of the show, I decided it was Mike’s time to actually go, and Tim and Aaron would round out the bottom three. I was both close, and very, very wrong.

I did sort of watch the results show, aka Idol Gives Back. Well, I watched parts of it. Really, other than admirable fundraising efforts (and believe me, I support the shit out of that), there were just two things of note: Mary J. Blige, Randy Jackson, Travis Barker, Orianthi and Steve Vai perform Stairway to Heaven and it blows my mind, and last year’s winner Kris Allen went to Haiti for Idol Gives Back and they didn’t even fucking show it. What, they had to make room for five more minutes of George Lopez?

More importantly (okay, less importantly than millions of dollars to charity, but more importantly than most of the performances), we actually had an elimination. Casey, Tim and Aaron hit the bottom three, and sadly, Tim’s time was finally up. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’ll miss you, Tim Urban! You made this show, if not musically better, then at least a little more entertaining.

Blah blah blah some other things happened and then Adam Lambert performed and it showed us all again just how much Season 9 pales in comparison.

Anyway! We got to turf two people tonight, and those two people were Andrew Garcia and Katie Stevens. I know right? I could hardly believe it either! Andrew went right off the top of the show, which left us with a bottom three of Tim Urban, Mike Lynche and Katie Stevens. Teflon Tim survives again!

That said, frankly, this is what they should always have been looking for in a mentor: someone who is not necessarily the biggest name but who has been in the trenches and who is unafraid to give actual advice, which has been the downfall of most mentors to date. Worrying more about how you’re going to look should not outweigh mentorship duties. It would make a more interesting show.

This is what I’m talking about when I say that I enjoy reality shows that show process as much as product. I’m talking about things like Top Chef or Project Runway, where we get to see how the contestants arrive at what they present us with. That’s what I’m looking for out of these mentorship segments—a glimpse into the artistic process, not a celebrity getting a few more minutes of exposure.

Also, when I heard Adam say the word “authentic” I truly wondered if he’d been given a script of the catchphrases of Season Nine.

On with the show, where we get to hear the top nine (again) take on Elvis.

Andrew Garcia, “Hound Dog”

Adam straight up calls him boring in the mentor session, but Andrew doesn’t do anything to fix this. I think he just doesn’t know how.

I wouldn’t say this is Andrew’s worst performance, but it was definitely the worst of the night. When it’s suggested that you make your performance more exciting, you don’t slow it down and add some faux swagger. That just makes it awkward. Vocally, he’s always been average, and when he doesn’t bring anything like innovation or musicality to the table, that lands him at the bottom.

Aaron Kelly, “Blue Suede Shoes”

What a strange, awkward choice of song for him. Vocally he’s flat almost all the way through, and his stage presence is…awkward. I actually kind of like the way he swings it in the middle, but overall…no. Sorry. (And maybe it’s just me, but when they show Adam in the audience he looks more like he’s grimacing than smiling.)

Katie Stevens, “Baby What Do You Want Me to Do”

Vocally this is actually pretty good, as long as I’m not actually watching it. When I’m watching it, it all just seems so overwrought. Maybe my second favourite vocal out of her (though when I’m talking about Katie, favourite might not be the word I’m looking for). This likely isn’t going to send her home, especially since the judges liked it.

Michael Lynche, “In the Ghetto”

Adam tells him to be more theatrical, and I want to just reach through the television and grab his collar and say, “Do not tell him to be more theatrical, Adam! You do not know what you are unleashing.” Adam hears him say “theatrical” and obviously thinks it means the same thing it meant when they said it to him. It doesn’t.

The performance, though, is actually restrained and heartfelt. Vocally I think it’s really good, and I wasn’t uncomfortable watching it, which I don’t say about Big Mike often. However he came about choosing it, it felt like the right choice for him tonight.

Siobhan Magnus, “Suspicious Minds”

Adam tells her to give it some more rhythm, which actually does seem to improve the performance in rehearsal but it doesn’t seem to make it onto the stage. I love her voice (always), and I think she’s such an interesting performer and person, but I want to see more energy on this song. It does get going after a while, but overall it was something of a disappointment. The judges were pretty harsh, but Adam looked like he genuinely enjoyed the performance, at least.

Tim Urban, “Can’t Help Falling in Love”

I know, right? Tim Urban this high again? Tim Urban above Siobhan? Maybe he was just fooling us all in the first few rounds, seeing how long he could get by on just a pretty smile and a good attitude. (The answer is: way further than you’d think.)

Adam encourages him to use his falsetto, advice which Tim wisely does not follow, much to the entire viewing public’s relief. I know Adam hasn’t had time to watch the show, but someone should play Apologize for him one of these days. And Tim’s performance is…good. Once again it’s a clever and not demanding song choice, and he doesn’t try to do anything with it that’s outside of his abilities. But the simple arrangement isn’t just good for Tim, it’s also good for the song.

Casey James, “Lawdy Miss Clawdy”

Adam just said “climax” to Casey. The show is now complete. Okay, yeah, I’m shallow as fuck sometimes.

My feed cuts up all over the place on this one, but what I did hear, I enjoyed. It seemed fairly ordinary, though. It was a typical Casey performance, not at the level of last week. A typical Casey performance, however, is usually my cuppa, so that’s fine with me.

Crystal Bowersox, “Saved”

I really like Crystal when she digs into gospel-inspired stuff, and I like that she went with upbeat tonight. It was nice to start out with something with so much personality, and I thought she was really engaging and had a lot of energy. Something was slightly off for me, though, and she got a little shouty at times. So maybe not one of my favourite Crystal performances, but still a strong performance compared to her competition.

The bedazzled guitar banter after her performance seemed like kind of a pandering moment to me, but it was cute.

Lee DeWyze, “A Little Less Conversation”

Adam’s advice to him was that he needed to perform, that you need to do more on stage than you do in the studio, which is what people have been saying all along and which is advice that Lee really needs to hear. Thankfully, he listens, and while performance-wise he still has some growth to do, tonight Lee took a giant step forward. The song choice and arrangement were both great, and he pretty much owned it.

After last week, Lee really, really needed to do that.

Also on American Idol tonight: Ryan makes an inappropriate Brian Dunkleman joke (seriously, do most people watching even remember who he is anymore?) and an even more inappropriate blowjob joke in front of Adam Lambert’s mother. That about sums up the show.

Assuming they’re going to do a bottom three this time, I’m calling Andrew, Aaron and Siobhan. I don’t want Siobhan in the bottom three and don’t think she deserves it, but I have a feeling. She’s not going anywhere, though. Andrew’s going first, then Aaron. If they end up with an extra person in the bottom, on account of knocking two of them out, I’m calling Katie.

Anyway, Tim Urban ends his run in the bottom three and instead we have Andrew, Aaron and a surprise Mike Lynche. Even more surprising, Mike is sent home. Less surprising, the judges save him so we’ll be seeing him again next week.

Well, at least we’ve got that pesky save over with. Now nobody I actually like screw up this week.

Aaron Kelly: “The Long and Winding Road”

This starts out all wrong and just stays that way. I’m kind of hard pressed to find anything right about it. Questionable song choice (it doesn’t play to his strengths and, what’s more, it was performed previously by David Archuleta who Aaron is trying to avoid comparisons to), shaky vocals and difficulty staying on key. Honestly the whole thing just sounds weak, both in emotion and in vocals, and I actually flinched when he kept holding that awful last note.

Ellen tells him it was a big song to take on, but it’s Lennon/McCartney. They’re all big songs to take on.

Lee Dewyze: “Hey Jude”

You don’t expect the train wreck to be the last song of night. But wow did this go off the rails, and fast. He barely even sang, leaving the melody to his back-up singers, and then the bagpiper arrived, and…what? Really? I’m not even sure what that was. Admittedly, I was entertained, but wow, no.

(I was trying not to, but I do have to invoke the name of Kris Allen here who performed this song wonderfully on the Idols summer tour. I, unlike the Idol judges, can’t avoid invoking the name of Kris Allen because three of the nine songs tonight had previously been performed by Kris Allen either on or associated with the show. One of them just a few weeks ago.)

Andrew Garcia: “Can’t Buy Me Love”

I’ll be honest, I missed most of this performance. I was peeling potatoes, which it turns out was probably a better use of this time. I returned in time to hear a seriously botched note, though I sort of liked his arrangement of the song, so that’s what I’m basing his placement on. The judges are basically lukewarm on it, and from other reviews I’ve seen it didn’t go over particularly well in general.

Michael Lynche: “Eleanor Rigby”

I did not like this performance. I generally like Mike’s voice, if not his style, but this came across as barely competent to me. And this is another song that’s had a previously iconic performance on Idol—two years later David Cook’s cover of Eleanor Rigby is still a staple on my iPod. It definitely suffers in comparison, but aside from that, the vocal was just rough. Probably my least favourite performance of Mike’s.

Katie Stevens: “Let It Be”

What on earth would possess you to perform a song that had just been performed on your season of the show by last season’s winner? The good news is that it was probably her best vocal performance, technically speaking. The bad news is that it was completely lacking in nuance and had only scraps of emotion. No, it wasn’t as pageanty as her previous performances, but I’m not in that desperate place yet where I’m calling competent performances “excellent”.

Tim Urban: “All My Loving”

Holy shit, Tim Urban, my world is askew. That was…cute. That was fun. That was exactly in your vocal range. Second best song choice of the night, and seriously a brilliant move. Legitimately enjoyable.

And I’ll admit I laughed when Randy said “it was a good Tim performance” but that was really kind of a shitty thing to say and I’m glad Simon called him on it. The judges seem as baffled as I am. You know I enjoy Tim Urban and think he’s probably a really great person, but I never expected to be a fan of one of his performances.

Siobhan Magnus: “Across the Universe”

The thing about hitting those notes she hit softly? That’s really fucking hard. Since the first time I really heard her I’ve marvelled at her complete control over those notes, (almost) always hitting them dead on without ever struggling to find the note. I thought this performance was really beautiful, and a gorgeous interpretation of the song. It’s not my favourite of Siobhan’s performances, but bringing it down like this was exactly what she needed to do tonight.

Crystal Bowersox: “Come Together”

First of all, thank you Crystal for avoiding the setup to capitalise on your illness. Much appreciated.

And here we have Kris song number three, though I’ll admit it’s not my favourite Idol song of his and it only really got epic when he started performing it on tour. If it was anyone other than Crystal I would probably be frowning but I trust her with her performance and interpretation skills.

That said, this isn’t Crystal’s best performance. She fumbles a little bit and her vocal wasn’t as confident as we usually hear it. I also feel like the backup singers kind of took away from this performance rather than adding anything to it. The didgeridoo is pretty awesome, though.

I accidentally burnt my dinner to stay to listen to it, though, so take that how you will.

It kind of says something about the general mediocrity of tonight that Crystal is placing second in my rankings with this performance. There were only one or two train wrecks, but only one song that blew me away, too. Everyone else was somewhere in the middle.

Casey James: “Jealous Guy”

I’ve never been ashamed of my love of Casey James, but before now it was always because of his potential. Tonight is when it all came together. It was a great song choice and a great performances. I will confess a few of the notes got bleaty, but overall it just killed. Absolutely my favourite performance of his, and my favourite of the night.

It’s getting harder and harder to call out the bottom three and the eliminated contestant. I’m going with Lee, Tim and Aaron in the bottom three, and Aaron for the elimination. Tim doesn’t deserve to be there at all, but I’m committed to my assertion that he will be in the bottom three every single week he’s in the competition.

It could just as easily be Andrew in the bottom three and going home instead of Aaron, though. In fact, the more I think about it, the more likely that seems, but I’m not going to second guess the choices I made last night. And honestly, tonight might be the night we get a shocker and have Siobhan hit the bottom three, but no way is she going home.

Cutting to the chase, the bottom three were Didi, Tim and Katie, though Katie was in suspense for all of about three seconds. Didi went home, which means I continue to have a perfect record for this season. It sort of gets harder from here on out, though.