Strangely Socialised

Or, Why I Wasn’t Keen On This Week’s Top Chef

My problem wasn’t that they used a wedding theme, because a) historically they’ve done it before, including a gay wedding, and b) they are in Vegas. I don’t think it was inappropriate or disrespectful to the chefs, though I certainly see Ashley’s point. (Being Canadian, the issue is not the same here, but it wasn’t always that way.) It bears mentioning that I thought she was very articulate and well-reasoned in her objections, and after making them then went and did the best possible job for the happy couple that she could without ever for a moment being disrespectful to them.

And my problem wasn’t that they had a boys vs. girls challenge, even though I don’t particularly like them and in a male-dominated profession they seem particularly out of place, even when the numbers on the actual show allow for it. Jen’s argument, while brief and pointed, was well said. But on a show like Top Chef, where they use any number of ways to divide the chefs into teams, it wasn’t unexpected.

My problem was that they used a boys vs. girls challenge in juxtaposition with a marriage challenge. As a viewer, I think they would have to have tried very hard to make a more pointed statement that marriage is between a man and a woman. I don’t think that was their intention. I think that someone had – as Tom Colicchio points out in his blog post about this episode – the cute idea that men entertain at the women’s party and women entertain at the men’s party and no one ever stopped to actually think about how sexist that in itself is, or how these choices kept underlining the point that only (heterosexual) men are on one side and only (heterosexual) women are on the other, and that’s the way it is.

As a queer viewer, while I enjoyed the rest of the elements of the show – I’m in this for the cooking after all, and there was plenty of good food to be virtually had – I was taken aback at how ill-thought-out and, frankly, classless, this whole challenge was.

Okay, so in my of my porn-seeking ventures on the internet, I come across a site of masturbation stories. Now, I know people like to get creative and all, but some things are excessive. And some things I just never. want to read. again.

For instance, some inauspicious beginnings:

“What you need is a horizontal pole about 1.5 meters off the ground and a computer … ”

“I tried using an orbital sander … ”

“Gather a bunch of meat from the grocery store … ”

“I place my nuts on the sink counter … ”

“Get a can of Spam, take the whole block out … ”

Also? Masturbating with shotgun shells can’t be healthy. And guys, if you want to masturbate in pantyhose, that’s great, but for god’s sake get your own.

So a friend of a friend was talking about music copyrights here, and both her entry and the comments and pretty interesting to me. I have yet to find anyone I agree with entirely on the issue, because everyone’s got their own perspective, and everyone’s got an agenda.

So here’s mine, the simplified version. Since the first song I downloaded in — 1997? Pre-napster, at any rate — I’ve bought more CDs than ever. Between 1994 and 1997 I bought less than a dozen. In 2002 I bought probably about a hundred. That’s not because I suddenly have a hundred times the disposable income I had before. No. It’s because I’ve had the opportunity to discover new music.

I download music because it gives me the opportunity to get a song, even if I already have it on tape or CD somewhere. It’s easy, it’s convenient. I can find rare music that I just can’t find on CD somewhere. I can make my own mixes. I can listen to what I want to do. I can’t do that with albums. And right now, there’s no middle ground.

Someone needs to make that middle ground, where artists can still make money off their music, where consumers can get it cheaply and conveniently (which seems to be the big stumbling block right now). At this point, it’s not something that can be outright stopped though nasty speeches and lawsuits and guilt trips; people will find a way to get what they want. There needs to ba a solution where the official product is better, and just as convenient, and not prohibitively expensive.

And nobody’s come up with that yet.