Strangely Socialised

Still unemployed. Still okay with it. I like to think I’ve been making good use of this time, though. I told myself that as of September 1st I would be making a genuine effort at writing, and I have been doing exactly that. It won’t be too much longer before I have a couple of things ready to go out on submission.

It’s both an easy and a difficult thing not to just throw my resume out to anyone who could hire me. Easy because, well, it’s nice not to have to worry about that; difficult because it’s not going to be too much longer before I start to worry about money. But I know that if I do I will get a decent job in an office somewhere, and I’ll spend another few years getting by just fine and not doing what I really want to do.

And frankly, that’s just not what I want my life to be like anymore.

Note to self: don’t put off updating your software. Bad things can happen. Bad things didn’t happen, but the possibility was alarmingly there.

I’ve made some decisions lately, about life, the universe and everything, and last night was starting to second guess myself, but I talked to my mom today and got some much needed perspective and yes, I made the right decision.

I know it’s a tough, tough job market out there, but I’m still only going to apply for jobs I actually want, rather than everything I’m qualified for. Financially I’m set for the next few months with a job, and the truth is that I’m supporting no one but myself. I could get a job I’m disinterested in, be miserable but have a comfortable income, or cut back on things a little, hold out for what I want, and be a lot happier. I have the safety net of knowing that if worse comes to worst I have no less than four places I can go that would take me in no questions asked, but even without that I feel comfortable with my decisions.

It’s the right thing for me to do in my life right now, while I have the opportunity. I would be an idiot not to take advantage of it.

The longer I have this blog, the more I want to go back and delete every entry from the first few years. Actually, this blog isn’t even one blog, it’s a consolidation of posts from about four different places, which seemed like a good idea at the time, even if it meant leaving the comments behind, but now I look back and I cringe at some of it.

Private, private, private. No one should ever have to read some of that crap, but I’m a digital packrat so I can’t bring myself to delete it entirely.